3 Habits of a Happy Marriage
By: Sabrina Peters
Happy marriages don’t just happen, they’re built, and a reflection of the habits that undergird them, day-in and day-out.
So, let’s explore three habits that are scientifically proven to help strengthen a relationship, no matter how long you’ve been together.
1 – Quality Time
Research shows that marriages that stand the test of time, make it a habit to prioritise regular quality time together. Simply meaning, as a couple you’re intentional about setting aside moments to connect, converse, and simply be present with each other. That can look like a regular date night or just sitting on the back deck having a chat. It’s about creating moments where you can rediscover each other, share your dreams, occasionally trauma dump, and simply connect on a deeper level. It’s not about lavish gestures, but rather about giving each other undivided attention.
Quality time has very little to do with the location, and everything do with intentional connection.
When we make a conscious effort to be fully present with our spouse, we show them that they are our top priority.
One way to cultivate regular quality time is through “Relationships Rituals.” Relationship rituals are small but meaningful traditions integrated into your daily or yearly routines, creating a shared culture that revolves around your relationship.
Whether it’s as casual as “Movie Night Mondays,” exploring a new hiking trail together every weekend, cooking a special dinner together every Friday, or creating an annual tradition of planting a garden together in the springtime, these rituals contribute to the fabric of your relationship, reinforcing the unique bond you share and creating memories that will last a lifetime.
One thing my husband and I often do is a regular coffee date. It’s a simple yet meaningful ritual, we start by grabbing a latte and croissants from a drive-through cafe, then we find a serene spot in the nearby forest where we park our car and settle in for some uninterrupted conversation. It’s not often fancy or expensive, but it gives us quality time to talk, eat, laugh, dream (and sometimes argue) together. It also reminds us that we’re husband and wife, not just “mom and dad”. This ongoing habit has become a cornerstone of our relationship, and something I look forward to week to week. Creating relationship rituals within your relationship can be a powerful tool to fostering quality time which leads to quality connection.
2 – Meaningful Conversations
Real and raw conversations are the heartbeat of genuine communication, reminding us that we’re not just living parallel lives, but intertwined souls on a shared adventure called love. Author, Tony Gaskins, puts it like this, “Communication to a relationship is like oxygen to life. Without it… it dies.”
These conversations aren’t just about discussing the day’s events, they’re about tuning into one another, offering support, and validating one another’s experiences.
It’s about creating a sacred space where we feel heard, understood, and valued.
In these moments, we’re not just husband and wife, but confidants and allies, offering unwavering support and encouragement to each other. We celebrate the highs and navigate the lows together, knowing that we’re in this journey hand in hand.
Engaging in meaningful conversations doesn’t guarantee enjoyment; in fact, they’re often quite challenging.
Because a good marriage is made up of a lot of tough conversations, not just easy ones.
Research in couples therapy consistently shows that lack of communication or ineffective communication patterns can lead to increased conflict, decreased satisfaction, and ultimately, relationship distress. It’s through this process of addressing conflicts head-on that we emerge stronger as a couple, fortified by the trust and understanding that comes from facing challenges together.
By embracing these moments of confrontation with grace and empathy, we reaffirm our dedication to the health and vitality of our relationship. We learn to navigate the rough waters with courage and compassion, knowing that every challenge we overcome together strengthens the foundation of our bond.
3 – Intimate Connection
According to relationship experts, understanding the significance of physical touch and sexual intimacy in relationships is crucial. A wealth of research highlights the emotional and physiological benefits of physical touch. Intimate or sensual touch stimulates the release of oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin, which lower stress levels and enhance overall well-being. These neurochemicals not only diminish feelings of loneliness and anxiety but also promote positive emotions such as contentment and relaxation.
Oxytocin, often called the “love hormone,” plays a crucial role in physical touch and bonding. Increased oxytocin levels during intimate touch strengthen trust, attachment, and connection between partners, contributing to emotional closeness and overall health. Positive touch reinforces trust in relationships by activating the brain’s reward system and creating a secure environment for open communication and emotional intimacy.
Non-sexual touch, such as holding hands or cuddling, is equally important in nurturing intimacy. Research suggests that physical touch enhances feelings of being understood and cared for, influencing both physical and emotional well-being.
In a nutshell, make sure to spice things up with some intentional physical, emotional, and sexual intimacy! It’s like the secret sauce for a happy marriage – a fundamental building block that keeps the love boat gliding along.
About the Author: Sabrina is a writer, pastor and relationships blogger. She is passionate about Jesus and changing the way people think about God, relationships and sex.
Article supplied with thanks to Sabrina Peters.