The Spoiler-Free Survival Guide: Navigating the minefield of When Calls the Heart fandom
BY: Sharon Fitness for GOOD.
In the golden age of binge-watching, where spoilers spread faster than a bushfire in the hot summer breeze, the brave souls who are forced to wait for their weekly dose of television magic find themselves navigating a treacherous minefield. Here lies the tale of these most valiant warriors of WHEN CALLS THE HEART Fandom, the Aussie Hearties, armed with nothing but their wits and an unyielding determination to remain spoiler-free for 5 whole days.
It is the most perilous time of the year. A time when spoilers lurk around every corner of the internet, waiting to pounce on unsuspecting fans like a cougar in the Canadian wilderness. With the US/Canadian premiere airings of WCTH Season 11 screening Monday mornings Aus time and the Australian premieres airing Friday nights, we must protect our eyes, ears and souls from the crushing disappointment an ill-thought spoiler will provoke. But fear not! We have braved the wilds of social media and returned with sage advice to guide brave and dedicated Aussie Hearties through this spoiler-infested landscape.
Step 1: The Social Media Blackout
First and foremost, initiate a complete social media blackout. Yes, this means saying goodbye to Twitter (I refuse to call it X), Facebook, and even that treacherous Instagram where spoilers lurk behind every innocuous swipe. Explain to your friends that you’re going off the grid, not because you’re turning into a hermit, but because you’re avoiding the dark arts of unsolicited plot reveals. They’ll understand. Eventually.
BUT…Aussie Hearties remains a safe-haven, so set the Aussie Hearties group as your home page and you can chat spoiler free.
Step 2: The Art of Evasive Conversation
If you’re trying to avoid spoilers for even longer than the Australian live premiere date, mastering the art of evasive conversation is crucial. When coworkers, friends or family start chattering about the new jaw-dropping episode, deploy diversion tactics. Start talking about the weather, politics, MAFS, I’m a Celebrity, or even your latest existential crisis. Anything to steer the conversation away from dangerous waters. With enough practice, you’ll become a conversational Houdini, escaping spoiler traps with the skill of a linguistic ninja.
Step 3: Develop Spoiler Amnesia
In the unfortunate event that a spoiler does breach your defences, it’s time to employ the Spoiler Amnesia Technique. Simply bang your head against a pillow (safety first!) and repeat, ‘I do not remember that Nathan buys Elizabeth a penguin’. With enough practice, you might just forget the spoiler… or why you entered the room in the first place.
Step 4: The Spoiler Repellent
Consider wearing a sign or badge that boldly states, ‘No Spoilers, Please. I’m Living in the Past’. While it may not be the height of fashion, it serves as a gentle reminder to those around you that you are not to be trifled with in the spoiler department. For added effect, practice your most intimidating glare to discourage would-be spoiler sharers. You could also post this as your profile pic!
Step 5: Spoiler Immunity through Overload
For the bravest souls among us, there’s the Nuclear Option: spoiler immunity through overload. Read every spoiler you can find until they blur into an indistinguishable mass of confusion. Was it Fiona who started the llama farm, or was it a dream sequence featuring Henry as a llama whisperer? Who can say? Not you, and that’s the point.
Step 6: Find a Support Group
Seek out fellow spoiler-phobes to form a support group. Together, you can share tips, offer emotional support, and perhaps even watch episodes together in a controlled, spoiler-free environment. There’s strength in numbers, and with your combined vigilance, you can create a safe haven from the spoiler storm raging outside. Ah! We already have this – The Aussie Hearties Facebook Group! A Spoiler-free zone!
Step 7: Embrace the Spoiler (as a last resort)
In the unfortunate event that a spoiler does slip through your carefully constructed defences, embrace it. Consider the spoiler not as a ruinous revelation but as a tantalising teaser of the drama that lies ahead. After all, knowing the destination doesn’t spoil the journey; it’s all about the ride.
So there you have it, a guide to navigating the perilous path of spoiler avoidance. It may be fraught with challenges, but with determination, cunning, and a healthy dose of humour, you can reach the spoiler-free finish line with your enjoyment intact. Remember, in the game of spoilers, you either win or you… well, let’s just say it’s best not to find out.
Watch When Calls the Heart season 9 on Wednesday nights at 7:30pm or When Calls the Heart season 10 on Monday mornings at 9:30am AEDT on GOOD. or stream from the free GOOD app.
When Calls the Heart season 11 will premiere on April 12 at 7:30pm AEST.
About the Author: Sharon Fitness is a staff writer for GOOD. She’s a movie buff, TV fan, foodie and dog lover.
Feature Images: When Calls the Heart promotional content from GOOD.