The Changing Role of Fathers

By: Laura Bennett

Kati Gapaillard is the CEO of the Fathering Project, an organisation dedicated to improving children’s physical, mental and emotional wellbeing and preventing harm by advocating for positive engaged fatherhood.

She joined me for a chat about the vital role of fathers and how it has changed in recent years.

It’s no surprise that the role of fathers has changed a lot. Dads were largely absent from their children’s lives 30+ years ago, spending a lot of time at work and seen mainly as the bread winner. These days we’re seeing dads who are much more hand-on and present for their families.

“The father was [traditionally] seen as a breadwinner and they came into kids’ lives on Saturday mornings for sport and soccer practice and rugby practice, swimming lessons and things like that,” Kati said. “But other than that, it was more the mum that was looking after the children being the main caregiver.

“Whereas today I’m finding new dads are really wanting to be involved and in a really hands-on way from the beginning, so there’s definitely been a change in expectations, but also the change that fathers have stepped up, realizing how important it’s for them to be involved in their children’s lives, but also how much fun it is for them and how important it’s for them to be involved in their children’s lives.”

A Changing Society

There has been a shift in society’s expectations of what being a father looks like, with dads wanting it to look different to the way it has looked for past generations.

“The research that we’ve been putting out over the past many years and others have been putting out shows that obviously children need their mums, but they also need their dads, but dads also need their children,” Kati said.

“It’s good for everyone if dads are hands-on and involved right from the beginning, in fact, from pregnancy onwards.”

So, what do kids contribute to their father’s life? Kati says being an active father has a huge impact on the father’s connection, mental health and wellbeing.

“When fathers are involved in their children’s lives, they obviously enhance their children’s lives,” she said. “There’s lots of developmental outcomes for children, but it also gives back to the dads because they feel like they’re involved in their children’s lives.

“They’re important, they matter, they’re not just a financial provider… nd of course, when they’re getting there involved in their children’s life, they’re also building a circle of community around themselves, which is something men need so much today.”

About The Fathering Project

The Fathering Project is based on the idea that kids benefit from having dads who are more engaged and nurturing in their role as fathers. Having done extensive research and working with researchers around the world, they have found that when fathers are involved in their children’s lives, they provide a male role model, which is something that all children need.

“Plus they bring that rough and tumble that you find dads do that’s really necessary for kids,” Kati said. “Mothers are very nurturing, but dads encourage children to take risks.

“They’re both needed equally, but in a unique way.”

Traditionally, specific roles have been assigned to mothers and fathers but increasingly, people bristle at the idea of fulfilling an expected role, according to gender.

The Fathering Project encourages families to work out what’s best for them.

“It really is a personal thing and how it works best for the mum and the dad and how they see themselves and how they see themselves working with the children,” Kati said.

“But we shouldn’t think about just because our dad was a breadwinner, that we should be a breadwinner [or] just because our mom was a caregiver and spent most of the time at home cooking and shopping and looking after the children that we should be doing the same thing.

“We need to look at our situation and consciously parent and consciously build our lives around what our children need and what we want to get out of life as well.”

Article supplied with thanks to Hope Media.

Feature image: Photo by Steven Van Loy on Unsplash

About the Author: Laura Bennett is a media professional, broadcaster and writer from Sydney, Australia.